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Defeat

Updated: Apr 8

I'm angry

at myself

at the world

at pain

and at noise;

at the futility of my attempts

to live without pain.


It is no longer pain

but an extension of my existence

presenting itself as noise

and chaos

in my body

getting louder and Louder

and Louder and LOUDER

until

by the end of the day

I have no capacity to perceive

anything else but the chaotic white noise

enveloping me

in a shell that isolates

me

from the outside world.


Turn off the lights.

Give me a quiet space.


I'm sorry I'm sorry

I can't be a person right now.


I'm sorry I'm sorry

I know it's hard to understand

but, I've run out of Personhood for the day

and I'm just a bag of

Noise that needs to finish

it's song.



Flare - verse


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